The Green Room

This place was so bad that although we booked for two nights we left after one. The high rating this place receives is from its restaurant, NOT its rooms. It looks pretty from the outside, but you are then led through the nice bits to a hovel out back. Your room is accessed by the bins through an old rotting door. Our three-person room was tiny, to open our suitcases someone had to leave the room because there wasn't enough space for cases and people! Even though we booked in as three there was only enough “breakfast” for two, by breakfast I classify what was found in the fridge, a bag of items that seemed to have been randomly selected from a local bin. A small orange, a yoghurt pot and a chocolate croissant with a use by date of August 2098. Oh, and there was nothing to eat the yoghurt with, perhaps the bins were running short that day. The décor of the place is old and faded, the lady in the painting had only one leg, a metaphor for the half-****d attempt at making guests comfortable. Or maybe the duration of sleep you will get that night, because through the threadbare sheets the owners have kindly not changed the mattress in decades so that you can count every spring in the mattress through your flesh as a proxy for sheep. Sadly, it didn’t work, and if you want to sleep on a chair look again, there isn’t one, and don't be tempted to sit down on the mattress too quickly if you value the bottom of your spine. The bedside cabinets were broken and so scratched and old, they barely retained any of their original black. Perhaps it was that black, which had found its way into the carpet that was so stained it made the Turin Shroud seem modern, any archaeologists might consider bringing their carbon dating equipment if they choose (poorly) to visit. The black-mould ridden bathroom had a toilet that flushed so poorly it struggled with the one-ply paper let alone anything more substantial; also the extractor fan didn't work, ironic given that the fan in the room above colluded with the mattress to keep me awake as it hummed through the paper-thin walls half the night. How this place claims to be 4-star is based on a certificate published in 2014, don't be fooled, they haven't cleaned it since. If this place had one redeeming feature, it was the power of the shower, unfortunately even that was not strong enough to wash off the disappointment at having stayed here.

We enjoyed lunch in The Green Room today. Very clean, neat and spacious seating. We went for the set three course menu which has 4 or 5 starters, mains and deserts. Sensible sized portions, excellent value for money, really tasty, all served with a smile. Will definitely return. We chose goats cheese and red pepper filo pastry tartlet, charcuterie board, pork schnitzel, duck and chorizo salad, Eton mess and chocolate and cherry roulade. Couldn't fault a thing.

First off the staff member that checked us in and out was superb, even when having little sleep the night before and other staff calling in sick he single handedly served breakfast to all the guests and checked us out while remaining professional and friendly. I wish I caught his name. The Room Bit hit and miss, the room was freezing on arrival however, when I arrived back after the meal it was warm and the same when I awoke even though it was -5 outside. The bed was reasonably comfortable, there are spare pillows in the cupboard as well as some hangers and a heater. There was a couch/bed also in the room which was very uncomfortable to sit on so I never used it. Lots of room in my room, a empty fridge, a phillips TV with freeview, tea and coffee plus a bottle of water. The bathroom was okay, the shower got warm quickly however, the water went past the glass screen and would build up a puddle on the floor. The vent on arrival made a loud noise which seemed to stop the third time I turned on the light (There was a switch to turn off completely). Basic Soap, Shower Gel and Shampoo provided. Cleanliness was okay, some dirt around the room but bedsheets looked and felt clean. There was an Iron and Board outside the room. I could also hear when the person above moved around at night. Breakfast was very impressive even more so when one person was attending all guests on little sleep plus we were a group of 6. Full English and a Vegetarian option. Plus Tea, Coffee and a help yourself area with Orange/Apple Juice, Milk, Cereal and some pastries. Bed Comfort 6/10 Room Cleanliness 7/10 Facilities 8/10 Staff Service 10/10 Breakfast 9/10 Value 9/10